We often blame external factors when we face repeated failures – an unsupportive boss, a tough job market, untrustworthy friends, non reliable colleagues, failed relationships, relatives who behave like vultures, fate , karma or bad phase in life . . . .
I’ve done it too, especially during my career transitions.
But here’s a hard truth: if the same kind of failure happens more than twice, whether in professional or personal life – it’s not the external world that needs to change, it’s you!
Failure is Feedback
Failure is not just an event, it’s feedback. It reflects patterns in our thinking, our habits, and our personality traits. When those patterns clash with our goals, we experience repeated setbacks.
Looking back, I noticed this in my own journey. For example:
- When I switched roles too quickly, hoping the next job would “fix” my dissatisfaction, I faced the same frustrations again. The problem wasn’t always the company, it was my impatience and lack of long-term alignment.
- At times, I over-relied on marketing skills without upgrading my interest in analytics or process automation expertise. This mismatch limited my growth, regardless of where I worked.
- During a couple of transitions, I expected recognition faster than I had built trust, which led to disappointment.
These weren’t random failures, they were recurring patterns.
The Right Question to Ask
Instead of asking: “Why does this keep happening to me?” the better question is:
“What part of my mindset or behaviour must evolve to prevent the same result?”
For me, the answers included:
- Learning to pause before changing jobs, and evaluating whether the issue is external or internal.
- Investing in skills that future-proof my career, not just those that got me hired.
- Adapting my expectations and building influence patiently in new environments.
Growth Is an Inside Job
Growth isn’t only about developing new skills, it’s about upgrading the way we approach challenges, relationships, and decisions. Sometimes, the breakthrough isn’t external; it’s internal.
When failure recurs in our story, it’s an invitation to turn the mirror inward. That’s where real transformation begins.
To transform your life, start by transforming yourself.
Stop expecting others to change for your happiness.
Instead, focus on your mindset, habits and perspective.
When you grow, everything around you evolves 🙂